"Spent some time feelin' inferior
Standing in front of my mirror
Combed my hair in a thousand ways
But I came out looking just the same"
"Every Picture Tells A Story"
~ Rod Stewart ~
Now that my social calendar has slowed down considerably since last week, it's time to once again to put my party hat back on its hook. It was great talking to a lot of my saints and sinners, some of which are veterans and some that informed me of their allegiance, and I hope to do you all proud each and every week right here. With that being said, let's get this column started by parlaying my devious thoughts into some Write-Offs , exit ... stage south:
Write-Off: At a recent event, someone asked me, "Where do you come up with the lyrics that are in the beginning of your column." Honestly, the lyrics are the hard part of the column. Usually, I come up with a concept for my column, then find suitable lyrics to match. This week, I've decided to dedicate these lyrics to a big Rod Stewart fan, Florence Phillips, the pride and joy of Mertztown, Pa. Hopefully this'll make her smile, and if it doesn't, she has her granddaughter, Megan, to blame.
Write-Off: In the words of Crocodile Dundee, I was doing a "walk-about" around town on Tuesday afternoon and discovered that there are still quite a few sidewalks and parking areas that are considerably icy. In fact, I asked one resident, who wished to remain anonymous (of course), why their sidewalk wasn't cleared off. They told me that they didn't have to clear it off, and besides, they were waiting to receive their warning from the borough. Okay, the planet that I come from, our sidewalks have to be cleared within 24 hours of a snowstorm, or run the risk of a fine. No warnings are given. Yet, the sidewalks of Phoenixville will only be cleared by one of two sources, those who are conscientious, or by Mother Nature. If you don't believe me, then ask everyone's favorite postal worker, Joel Zeiber. Poor Joel told me he slipped and fell down on his route the other day. In fact, he couldn't get up because he was surrounded by ice. He said he looked up and saw several pairs of hands helping him up (to which he was most appreciative). Something tells me that it is going to take a serious accident for someone to finally do something about this. All it takes is just one accident, just one. In the meantime, I'll be waiting ... and watching. Trust me, it's about time that someone becomes accountable for this nonsense.
Write-Off: Saints and sinners, there is still time to sign up for the Northern Chester County Police Chiefs' second offering of the Civilian Police Academy, which will commence on Thursday, Jan. 29, 2004. The big P.I.T.A. went through it the first time around, and it was both educational, informative and entertaining. Not only do you get the opportunity to interact with the police officers in your area, but you'll learn a thing or two about the different aspects of law enforcement. There is definitely a lot more than meets the eye. Interested residents can pick up an application at the police stations. Applicants must have a clear police record and 75-percent attendance is required to receive a certificate. All of the classes will be held at the Phoenixville Area High School library, 1200 Gay Street, Phoenixville. The deadline to register is Tuesday, Jan. 27.
Write-Off: It's time once again for "American Idol," and if the past three episodes this week are any indication of the talent that is in this world, then Heaven help us all. I was surprised that we managed to have two of the three episodes on in the newsroom, and my co-workers couldn't contain their laughter at some of the contestants' performances. It was a nice change of pace from watching sports and the news channels. Despite Kevin Leitzell's apparent dislike for reality television, he was watching "American Idol" intently as well. No matter how you slice it, reality television is like a gaper delay in the privacy of your own home.
Write-Off: Another year older, and another year bolder ... and it's time to send out Happy Birthday wishes to three of my favorite people in the area. Sharing January birthdays are District Court's Helen Carns (hey babe), awesome bartender Lisa Josephson, and attorney extraordinaire Jim Freeman. Wishing you all a super-duper day with an abundance more to come.
Write-Off: I've seen it once, I've seen it twice, and I'll probably see it again. No, I don't mean my life flashing before my eyes (although that has happened once). I'm talking about Tim Burton's "Big Fish." Not since "SpiderMan" and "X2: X-Men United" have I raved about a movie so much. Go see it and allow yourself to be entertained. Come on, folks, you deserve it. "Big Fish" had better win some Golden Globes this weekend, and then it's upstream to the Oscars. You read it here first.
Write-Off: I'd like to thank Carole Frederick, Mariann Horan, Cindy Maguire, Steve and Janet Humphrey, Bunny Schnell, Peter Giannopoulos, Brian O'Reilly, Jimmy Wasko, Karen Peters, Priscilla Marie Sager, Kenny Zimmerman, Sandy Zimmerman, Emmy, Jason Feather, Henrietta Tribble, Tamika Lear, Dolores Winston, Will Rumpa, Mary Foote, Kevin Leitzell, Samantha Fry, Tom Goggin, William Mossman and Police Chief John Kalavik for being great people and making the last eight days really cool.
Until then, some final words of wisdom to "write-off" to - ahem ... "fly Eagles fly ... onto the conference championship ..." and that's where it stops. The hair has been spared. Thanks, Birds! Now do us all a favor and sign Terrell Owens.
Dennis J. Wright can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.