betsy skotch

MAJOR, major news this week, dolls! My favorite celebrity in the whole wide world, Nicole Richie, had her baby! On 9/9/09, nonetheless, which I guess is, like, some lucky Chinese number or something like that.

So, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden had... wait for it... a baby boy! And, I bet you're dying to know what they named him, because celebrity baby names are THE biggest thing.

And, that name that you'll be seeing on VH1's "Craziest Baby Names" alongside sister Harlow Winter Kate Madden? They named the new baby Sparrow James Midnight Madden. Which, coincidently, is what I was planning on naming my first born, minus the Madden part, of course. Cuz, what sounds better than "Sparrow James Midnight Skotch?" That's right, nothing.

I guess that Jessica Simpson is a model now. Because, as demonstrated by popular tv shows such as "Drop Dead Diva," "Dance Your Ass Off," "More To Love," and "Biggest Loser," big girls are the "in" thing right now. Welcome to America. Now, please pass me the fries, I'm good with my double chin, I'm going for the triple... don't try to talk me out of it.

Ah, the Gosselins. How I love Jon and Kate. Do they even still have the eight? Or did they get rid of them once the publicity of twins and... sep..? tuplets died down?

Anyway, Kate got all dolled up the other night to have dinner with her body guard and his wife. Just picture THAT... ahem.. "dessert."

And, Jon? Well, Jon has a new Mercedes. Cuz, everyyyyy father of eight needs to be driving a Mercedes. And, if you haven't heard yet, he's been abused by Kate! Well, according to every single interview he's giving lately. Poor, poor Jon, putting up with that for so long. And, according to him, Kate also stole his wedding ring.

But, have no worries, Jon won't be backing down anytime soon. Rumor has it that he's discussing a reality show with Endemol, which is the production company behind favorites such as "Deal or No Deal" and "Big Brother." This new reality show would include other famous names such as Michael Lohan and Kevin Federline, and is said to be titled, "The Divorced Dads Club."

To me, it sounds more like "The Divorced Dads whose family members are much more popular and therefore pushing us out of the limelight Club," but who am I to judge? For serious, since VH1 cancelled "Megan Wants A Millionaire," this would totally be my new fave if it came to fruition. And, you never know when Michael would go overboard, pull a Ryan Jenkins, and, well... where's Lindsay? (Too far? I think not.)

You know how when you're driving and all of a sudden you're stuck in traffic for like five hours, and then you finally crawl forward, and you crane your neck to see what held up the traffic for so long? That's how I feel about Tyra Banks.

I mean. She's freakin' obnoxious. She loves herself almost as much as I love MYSELF. And that's hard to do. But, I still watch America's Next Top Model. And, every so often, I end up watching The Tyra Show (side note... how cool would the Betsy Skotch Show be? If Perez Hilton can have a TV show, I'm demanding one. Phoenixville News, my newest demands are that you set me up with a network...).

So, we all know that Tyra is all gung-ho about making women feel good about themselves. Her latest, for some reason, is about hair. She managed to come out for the season five premiere with full makeup and wet hair to show "the real Tyra." Cuz, obvii we were all wondering what's really going on under all of the weaves and wigs and whatnot. Leaning more on the "not" end of that whatnot, of course.

Until next week, dolls, xoxo.

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