It’s hard to believe that just two years ago on Oct. 2, my husband and I were celebrating our wedding with family and close friends at Columbia Station/Robert Ryan Catering.
Since then, we’ve made big strides in life: buying a house in December 2010 and finding out in mid-March we are going to be parents.
When my parents come to visit us, each time they pass our church in Royersford, they say, “That’s where it all began.” But the truth is that this relationship began in Indiana, Pa., about eight years ago.
I met my husband through mutual friends while I was attending Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I remember chatting with him a lot the night I met him, but we were just on the friends level then. Neither of us were looking for a relationship. With taking my time getting to know him, I knew I started to like him. I found myself at a crossroads: my ex-boyfriend from home wanted to get back together with me. The ex believed we belonged together and said if we were both stuck on the moon, we would only be able to stand each other. The comment made me think that there was another person I could stand…and about six years later I married that person.
I’ve learned some important things about marriage. I think the most important things are communication and teamwork. We work well as a team. I think my husband and I have decent communication, but it’s something that definitely needs improvement. I think what is healthy for a marriage is taking time away from the TV or computer, or getting out of the house for some quality time together. Sometimes TV, computer or hobbies or the simple day-to-day routines can be a distraction. We are able to enjoy some time going out to dinner or seeing movies together.
Unfortunately, men sometimes view some forms of communication, i.e., “We really need to get this done next weekend,” as nagging. I’m especially good at “nagging” or what I like to call giving “gentle reminders.” I’m good at dishing out nagging, but if he points out something I need to do, then I get annoyed. A taste of my own medicine?
I’ve also learned that there are good times and bad times for talking about important things. A good time to discuss matters is during dinner or before we get tied up with TV or surfing the web.
Sunday Night football is not a good time. I was talking about the book I was reading about a vampire and fallen angel. He half heard me and responded, “Wait, that was a book you were reading?” The situation was like the Klondike commercial in which the husband has to listen to his wife for so many seconds so he can get a Klondike bar. He’s got beads of sweat pouring down his face. That was my husband that night. We laughed about the situation and the commercial for a good five minutes after that. I almost bought him those Reese’s Klondike bars as a joke during my next trip to the grocery store. He also knows not to talk to me when my shows are on because I won’t be listening very well. I will try to act interested in how his fantasy sports teams are doing, but many times I don’t know what to say or only half listen.
All joking aside, I do think we have a strong marriage. We work as a team paying bills and sharing housework. (However, the housework has become more of his responsibility during my pregnancy. Ah, the perks of pregnancy!) When I got married, I got a husband and best friend in one person. After being together for almost eight years, we still have fun and continue to learn more about each other.